Where is Shelly Winters When You Need Her?

2012 is everything it's supposed to be: mindless, loud, and filled with lots of things blowing up, thanks to the wonders of computer graphics. Some of the seams are showing on the special effects, especially the Chinese scenes, but hey, it's still better than those little plastic monsters we loved in the old Godzilla movies. The problem with this flick, however, is that the characters never engage the audience, as Shelly did swimming through The Poseiden Adventure. The ones who could grab our hearts and squeeze them dry because they have the acting chops-- Danny Glover and George Segal, most notably--are thrown away.

From My Brilliant, Overworked Friend Dr. Michael Steinman

HOW TO GRADE ESSAYS
Dr. Michael Steinman

Find a comfortable place to sit.
No, that's not comfortable.
Get up and adjust the light.
Check your email.
Pick up the first bluebook.
Read the first sentence.
It's time for a cup of tea.
Wait for the tea to be properly steeped: it never pays to rush.
Bring your tea back to the bluebooks.
The pen you're using won't be seen well enough; find another one.
Check email.
Write an email you just remembered you needed to write.
Take a deep breath and read the first bluebook.
If it's better than you expected, you might need a pretzel (cookie, walk, drink).
If it's worse than you expected, you certainly need a treat, relief, solace.
Did any new email come in?
Pick up the second essay and look at the first sentence.
This would go better with some music on: choose your CD carefully.
That CD is distracting: pick another.
Read the second essay, as far as you can.
The dishes in the sink really need to be done right now. Do them. That's better, isn't it?
If you have pets, now's the time to play with them.
Finish the second essay.
Make another cup of tea or warm the first one up.
Isn't it time to clean the tub?
Face your fears: if you read four bluebooks without getting up, you can have a Reward.
Read the four bluebooks.
Consider lying down.
Is there any new email?
If you have a blog, check your stats.
If you don't have a blog, consider beginning one. Now.
You can do the rest of the essays tomorrow, when it's too early for your discernment to kick in.
There's always tomorrow.

Happy (Belated) Birthday, Meish!

For my birthday, Meish and Chaya take me to a play. For his birthday, Meish and Chaya take me to a play. (And I know if I'd ask, Meish and Chaya would take me to a play for Chaya's birthday, Bob's birthday, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, etc. Everyone needs friends like Meish and Chaya.)
Anyway, last night, to celebrate Meish's birthday, we saw the Cirque de Soleil play "Wintuk." I'd never seen a Cirque production before and I found it absolutely delightful. I'm not at all a "circus" fan per se, prefering my elephants in the wild and my large clowns not emerging from small cars, but "Wintuk" was nothing like my traumatic childhood circus memories. No cotton candy, screaming children, and smelly lions.
Instead, "Wintuk" has a whimsical charm, stupendous acrobats, and a charming ending that no one can resist (And no, I won't reveal it, but those of you who have seen the Gazillion Bubble Show will have an idea. It's along those lines.) In all, a wonderful evening with gracious, generous old friends.

Daisies

As part of her Girl Scout Gold project, Sammi planted Montauk daisies in the children's garden at the Farmingdale Public Library. Home Depot graciously donated the plants. It was the end of the season and the plants were small, perhaps a foot high, so I didn't think they would take. Well, flashforward eight years and those Montauk daisies did more than "take": they are HUGE, perhaps eight feet tall and really wide. Since we're cutting through that part of the library to make a second entrance, the daisies will be removed and perhaps not replanted, so I decided to get some to plant at home. Chet from the library dug up one of the huge plants and dropped off today. Bob and I removed an old bush and put the daisies in its place. When I look at this huge plant with its thick trunk, I realize that eight years have indeed passed. How did they go fast?

I had to Steal the Picture from Sammi's Facebook Page

She and Bill attended the Oyster Festival and this picture shows that I raised that kid right: who would ever eat anything as ugly as an oyster? Think they look bad? They taste even worse, like chewy snot. Now, Sammi appreciates real food, the finer things in life: artichokes, Janice's so-called "failure cake," (which was anything but), and a roast beef with potatoes and onions. Add a warm bagel and we're all set!

Come One, Come All

to the Open House today at the College, 12:00-2:30. I'm the Official Hostess/Wrangler(?)in the Theatre as prospective students and their parents wait for yours. I have a gorgeous slide show prepared by the Office of Institutional Advancement, but mainly I just entertain. I really enjoy doing this, likely because it's a captive audience!

Upon the Advantages of Working at a College

is the fact that so many of my colleagues are experts in so many things. Today, for example, a teacher in the greenhouse taught me how to take cuttings from my fig tree and root them. They may or may not take, but the teacher's impressive patience and deep knowledge really impressed me. He educated me on soil (the College used to make its own!) and the hormones used to encourage root growth. I learned not to let direct sunlight strike the twigs until the plant roots and how to create my own greenhouse with a dry cleaning bag. Such a smart, nice man-- and such a good teacher.